


A Very Bad and Horny A3! Fic

by vanwithaplan



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Chikage is here but none of the other act 2 boys cuz idk them yet, Crack, Dirty Jokes, Drinking, Mentions of pornography, MisuKazu is implied, No spoilers for act 2, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26482384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanwithaplan/pseuds/vanwithaplan
Summary: After a bit of drinking, the Mankai adults try to hold a meeting. The conversation quickly gets out of hand.
Relationships: Ikaruga Misumi/Miyoshi Kazunari
Comments: 11
Kudos: 71





	A Very Bad and Horny A3! Fic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jazzy_spork](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazzy_spork/gifts).



> my first crack fic!! im sorry

“Okay!” Izumi said, clapping her hands to draw the attention of the 14 men sitting throughout the Mankai Dorms lounge, drinks in hand, “Now that everyone’s here and we’re all slightly inebriated, let’s get started with our regular  _ Mankai Company Grown-Ups Meeting! _ ”

Her excitement was met by a few half-hearted cheers and polite clapping. She beamed.

“Today’s first item on the agenda is…” she continued, “getting the kids to clean their goddamn rooms!”

More cheers and clapping, volume lowered as to not wake the sleeping kids in the dorm.

“I went into Taichi's room to give him a package yesterday, and his side of the room is a mess! He cleans it when I ask, but it always gets dirty again so fast. I think he shoves stuff under the bed,” Izumi explained.

“Mm, yeah,” Omi spoke up, “I tell him to clean it and help him pick up stuff when I can, but it always gets dirty super fast.”

Izumi nodded vigorously.

“Masumi’s room is very dirty too!” Citron said, “When I go to wake him alongside Sakuya, it is like when pigs fly!”

“Pigsty,” Itaru mumbled, “but you’re close enough.”

“Absolutely,” Izumi said, determination etched across her face, “So I have a plan: Mankai cleaning day! This weekend, let’s go through everyone’s rooms and clean them out, finding trash and things we can donate. We’ll look under beds, in desks, closets, anywhere junk could be hiding! And if we keep this up regularly…!”

“Izumi” Omi said suddenly, cutting her off, “I don’t think you should be the one inspecting the boys’ rooms.”

“Huh? Why?”

Omi averted his eyes, a blush rising in his cheeks.

“You… might find stuff in there. Stuff you don’t really wanna see.”

Izumi looked genuinely confused.

“What kind of stuff?”

“Porn stuff,” Hisoka answered softly. Izumi could’ve sworn that he was just asleep.

She gasped quietly.

_ “Oh.” _

A moment passed.

“Oh, okay. Yeah. That’s fine. I’m an adult. I-I can look at adult things no problem. P-plus,  _ our boys are good boys! _ They wouldn’t have stuff like that! I mean, teenage boys aren’t  _ that _ horny!”

Everyone else in the room shared a doubtful glance.

“W-well, it’s not exactly that they’re super horny…” Tsuzuru spoke up, “I have brothers, so I know. They’re just, you know, at a point in their life where they’re  exploring their sexuality…”

“I bet Masumi has pictures with Izumi’s face taped over the girls’ heads,” Itaru butted in suddenly. 

Chikage stifled a quick chuckle. Azuma retained his usual serene smile, but for a moment a corner of his mouth quirked up.

_ “Itaru,” _ Tasuku said darkly. The offender threw his hands up into the air.

“I’m just saying!”

“A-anyway…” Izumi said, blushing. Her hand covered up her mouth in embarrassment.

“Izumi’d look kinda good as a gravure model, though,” Matsukawa interrupted. His face was flushed a bright red. Like always, he was the most drunk at their meetings.

Most people gasped. Tsuzuru and Omi both nearly choked on their drinks. Sakyo cleared his throat loudly. Misumi was in the corner playing with a bunch of wooden triangles.

“Ooh! Sexual harassment!” Citron exclaimed enthusiastically, clearly overjoyed at using such an advanced term.

_ “Anyway!!” _ Izumi near-shouted as most of Mankai’s adult cast glared daggers at Matsukawa.  “Anyway, we’ll-- Omi, it’s okay, he can stay! -- anyway -- Tasuku, it’s fine, just leave him!”

Omi and Tasuku were attempting to drag Matsukawa back to his room. With Izumi’s urging, they agreed to set him in a chair about 8 feet from the rest of the party.

“Izumi,” Tsumugi began softly, “There’s no reason for you to go snooping around under their beds and stuff. We can handle it if you need us to. You’re not their mom.”

“Right!” she exclaimed, “I’m like their cool older sister. And older sisters don’t go looking for their little brothers’ porn.”

“Mine certainly did,” Itaru huffed, “I guess I kinda got her back though, since I found hers, but all it did was scar me. All of my favorite video game characters thrust into such homoerotic situations…”

_ “Itaru!” _ Tsumugi hissed.

“I’ll never be able to look at Super Action Man and his faithful sidekick Blaze the same way again…”

Homare, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, chose now to speak up.

“Ah yes, Super Action Man! Although I have never partaken in the great many games associated with his name, I am aware of fans’ tendency to pair him and Blaze together! The tales of their romance are some of the most poetic I have ever read!”

“Homare, you read fanfiction?” Azuma asked politely, a ghost of a smirk on his lips.

“I… had a phase,” Homare admitted quietly.

“Arisu’s a  _ neeeeeeerd _ ,” Hisoka teased softly, dropping his head into Azuma’s lap.

“Excuse you, Hisoka!” Homare replied indignantly, “ _ Nerd  _ is a most rude and antiquated term! Most people prefer to be called geeks, or enthusiasts, or connoisseurs of the arts…”

“Kazu-Kazu told me he likes to be called daddy!” Misumi added happily, tone as slow and carefree as usual.

Sakyo choked on his drink. Tsuzuru rushed over to help him, but only after spitting out his own. Citron, unfamiliar with the slang, looked around in confusion. Everyone else went pale.

The room was dead silent, excluding the loud, obnoxious sound of a phone keyboard clacking. Nobody else in the dorm kept their phone off silent mode.

“Kazunari, what are you doing…?” Tsumugi ventured slowly. The blonde-haired man was fully focused on his phone, typing rapidly.

“Oh, me?” Kazunari replied congenially, seemingly oblivious to the situation at hand, “I’m transcribing this entire conversation to go on the company blog. Sorry I didn’t say anything, I’m like a few sentences behind, since I’m writing everything down…”

Kazunari looked up to see the scandalized faces of everyone in the room. His usual grin fell rapidly as his brain caught up to the conversation.

“...Oh shit.”


End file.
